Category: Parent Talk
I'd like to see this doll first.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,537261,00.html
no, i would never buy that for my daughter. at the age she plays with dolls, i feel she is too young to learn about breast feeding. that would be like teaching her about sex at age 5 or something. it isn't age appropriate in my opinion.
i do see the point of every doll coming with a baby bottle, but even those who breast feed only, most likely will pump and use a bottle at some point to give the breast milk. i don't have stats on that, just going from friends experiences.
anyway, it isn't age appropriate at all.
it's hard enough to keep your children, just that, children, in the world today.
Jesus H. Christ! Kids grow up way too fast anyway. They sure as hell don't need breast feeding dolls at the age most girls play with dolls.
well, i think this doll could be a good thing. I have a 19 year old daughter. She and her friends pretended to nurse their babies at the tender age of three or four. Most of them had mommies who did it and so that's what they modeled. AS I recall there was a big discussion in my house as to why all new born baby dolls came with baby bottles.
Breast feeding is to sex like a bicycle is to a fish. Come on. The two have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Breasts are a sexual object, but they also are a giver of life. Kids should not be made to feel that they are dirty or whatever.
I don't know if i'd get the doll. it depends on what it looks like and how it is presented. I could not tell that from the article.
remember that play is children's work. the model the behavior they see. pretending to breast feed is fine. doing the same with a bottle is fine. what is not fine is moms and dads having a cow over either option in front of their kids. geesh let me take a deep cleansing breath!!
I probibly wouldn't get the doll, but I would explain breast feeding with no relation to sex. just an oppinion at the moment.
Breast feeding isn't sexual. It's the natural way to feed an infant.
I think the doll idea is a little peculiar and doesn't make that interesting of a toy, but I think all kids should know about where their milk came from.
hell no, i'd never allow a daughter of mine to play with a doll like that. Yes, i'd explain breastfeeding when I felt she was old enough to understand it. Putting things in to age-appropriate language has always been a challenge for me.
I'm a huge advocate for nursing and I think too many times breasts and breastfeeding are dumbed down and frowned upon. Breasts are a part of a woman's body just like her lips, her hips, or her eyes, all of which could be viewed as "sexual objects" No, I disagree with having a doll teach my child about breastfeeding, but iI do think that education is important and I as her mother should be the first to educate and guide her. I would actually buy the doll, but I would be the first to explain nursing and how it works before I went out and bought the doll. I am having a girl soon whom I am planning to breastfeed. I do want more children if circumstances allow, so I am hoping to be a role model for her so she is not uncomfortable. Breastfeeding is a beautiful, natural relationship between a mother and child and no doll can duplicate that.
oh i am going back to another comment in the first post. both my kids had a rudimentary idea of sex at age five. if a child is old enough to ask a question, they are old enough to receive a thoughtful answer.
Oh by the way, the first question I got was a doozy. We were driving back from a picnic with grandma and grandpa when my four year old son Michael says "what is aids?" Remember my poor dad was in his 80s at the time and my stepmom was a conservatively raised gal. They both looked at me and said "this one is all yours honey."
So I asked the question of first resort. I wanted to see if he was inquiring about someone who assists or the blood transmitted terminal disease. "what do you think it is honey?" "well, frankie says that his auntie is going to be one of the kindergarten teachers aids, but i heard on good morning america that aids kills people. Is she going to die?" "well honey," i said, "we all wilol die eventually. The disease aids is when people's immune system, the part of us that fights diseases gets all messed up. It happens to people who do things they are not supposed to do like shooting up drugs. (we'd talked about that one previously.) isn't english silly because they give the same word to a bad disease as to a person who is doing a kind job? Now let's talk about something else and we can continue this later if you think of other questions."
I think at age five my daughter's first question was "how did melissa, their family day care provider, get the baby in her stomach?" What a relief. I just briefly and in simple word gave her an outline of what happened. She just looked at me and said "that's cool." as time progressed both of them knew they could ask me stuff because it wasn't embarrassing or a big deal to me.
I don't reckon breastfeeding dolls would be a problem for me and my daughters either. It's absolutely, nothing, to be ashamed of at any age. I mean, surely, when newborn baby sibblings show up, the big brother or sister's more than likely to come upon his or her mother feeding the baby and they're bound to wonder or even ask what it's all about, and I believe hiding the truth or even lying to small children to get out of what you think is a bit of a grown up situation's a no no. They'll basically grow up to believe lying is a good thing, which it most certainly is not. I'm still having to learn the hard way myself because mum wrapped me in cotton wool and skated over the truth, sheltered me for years and years while I was growing up about stuff that was happening at home, out in the big wide world and at School. I was also an only child, so she didn't even tell me what brothers and sisters were. I only found out that my friends parents sometimes had more children, either before or after having my friends themselves and they were called brothers and sisters. OK, I should've guessed that my Auntie Lou and Uncle Richard were mum's brother and sister, but I was never told any different. They were only referred to as the afore-mentioned Uncle and Auntie in front of me. Just so sheltered, just so stupid and untrue, so, going back to this doll which breastfeeds then, I would most certainly buy that for my children. I learned the hard way being sheltered, mollycoddled, wrapped in cotton wool, so I've no wish to smother my own children like that, ever.
Jen.
Jen.
I see no problems with teaching either about breastfeeding or sex. They're part of life and I'm sure there are age-appropriate ways in which you could explain it to them. Breastfeeding is perhaps the easiest. That said, I don't think I have mixed feelings on the doll. In one way, they chould be used educationally but on the other, they're not really necessary. I mean, explaining it should be good enough. They'll learn when they're old enough, should they choose to have children of their own. turricane, you brought up a very valid point here which is what made me stop and think. I never really played with dolls so overlooked it. Why do they all come with bottles, as if that's the normal way to feed a baby? It's not. Granted, I wasn't breastfed, but that's only cause I was adopted. Should I ever choose to have children, I intend on breastfeeding. Thank you SunshineAndRain! I'm so sick of people equating breasts with sex. as you said, they're parts of a woman's body and anything can be taken sexually. Many people have foot fetishes, so should sandals be illegal? It's bad enough that women can't simply walk around top-free but now they get bullshit for feeding their children. This Puritanical society truly needs to grow up. turricane, you're a wonderful parent and seem to have a way of talking to children. People should learn from you. Jen, I completely and wholeheartedly agree with you about lying. I've always been an honest person and wouldn't ly to my children for the same reasons as you describe. If we ly to each other, we can never trust each other and that's paramount to a healthy relationship, no matter the kind. As for your growing up, it sounds extremely interesting. Perhaps, we can talk another time?
I'd never lie to any kids I have in the future. explaining about braestfeeding to an inquisitive three or four-year-old would be challenging, but I'll worry about that bridge when I get to it.
I agree. My husband and I looked at the doll together and see no problem with it. Breast feeding is the same as bottle and spoon feeding; cept where as it opposes bottles, it's natural, which is what we prefer. As far as the breast feeding being seen as sexual, that's unfortunate. Breast feeding is natural, and I want our future daughters to be comfortable with what is natural and not sexual; feeding is not sexual!!! Well, I can think of a few examples where feeding can be sexual, but not any where children are concerned.
explaining to a three or four year old about breast feeding shouldn't be a big deal. if we think about it, many of them have seen shows on animal planet or they have friends who have puppies or they have seen cows. cow's milk comes from the udders. farmers either take it out with their hands or use machines. doggies and kittens get milk from their mommies. some baby humans do too. it comes from their mommy's breasts. no shame no drama just a simple stsraight answer.
I have met two or three year olds that have seen me nursing my daughter, and they just say, "My mommy fed melike that." Or, "That's how the new baby eats." Children know more than we give them credit for.
Wow, that makes me feel a lot better. :D Thanks for that.
our society has come a long way and this is a good thing. would you believe then my mom was a girl, if she were alive she'd be 91, after she commented on the next door neighbor's big belly she was sent to bed without dinner and spanked. ladies do not talk about women who were in the family way. when she got her period no one at all had even told her a thing. she thought she was dying. my aunt virginia was left with the lovely task of sex education. their mom certainly wasn't up for the job. when i grew up my mother always talked openly about sex, nursing, bodily functions, or whatever with us as long as we kept it in the family. I was the only virgin in high school who got an a in family life, which was advanced sex ed. i anyway, kids need to learn by observation and words that our bodies are beautifully and wonderfully made.
Wow! That's horrible and sad at the same time. Thank The Gods for advances in thought. Glad your mother was more open and explained things to you guys. Yes, I don't really see the problem in explaining breast-feeding to a child either. Great example above btw.
Yes, I would because breastfeeding is something natural. People make a big deal out of it and sexualize it, when it isn't even like that. For goodness sakes, it is the best way to feed a child.
To tell you the truth, i'm breastfeeding my children until they are five or until they wean earlier. I believe in extended breastfeeding and wet nursing. So, nope. there is nothing wrong with the doll.
And I agree with some of you here. if my children ask questions, I'm going to give them the honest and proper answers, no matter their age. I figure if they ask it, they must want to know. I'm not going to lie to them all because of their age. If I'm going to teach my children not to lie, i do not want to be a hypocrite and lie to them. I'm open anyhow, so it does not matter.
And this may sound strange to some, but I do not care. My friend and I want to try to have children at the same time on purpose. This is because we have made arrangements for me to wet nurse--meaning that someone else nurses your baby--because she cannot do it due to being on medications. She does not want to bottle feed at all. Her and I are both naturalists. (I'm never going to bottle feed, either. If I could not nurse, I'd find a friend to do it, too.) So, I said yes to her request. I'll be nursing her child along with mine. There is nothing wrong with that. It's not some freaky sexual thing. No, no, no. It's done all over the world today, and it was done long ago. It is just that western culture thinks it is nuts. Well, what is right isn't always popular and what's popular isn't always right. That is my motto for the day. I should put that on my profile.
Umm you can't always breast feed and bottle feeding is sometimes the only option. My friend could not breast feed her daughter and I see nothing wrong with bottle feeding. I'm not a parent, but I think breast feeding until the age of five is not good. To answer the question, I would buy the doll for my child when she was old enough to understand what breast feeding was or until she asked about it. My friend has a two year old and she is as smart or smarter than a four year old, so yeah some kids learn very quickly about things like this.
Breast feeding would be my preferred, but do to PCO I most likely will not be able to breast feed. So, I've accepted the possibility and will simply do what is best for my child within my capabilities. You can't always arrange for a friend to breast feed your child, and besides, I'm not sure that I'd want my child forming that kind of close bond with anyone else but myself and my husband. Also, medicine does recommend you have the child weened by 2 (if I remember correctly) partly because the age of 2 is when they start forming some indipendence, and in my opinion I think indipendence is important to a healthy childhood.
And breastfeeding until they're five? what the heck is going to happen when they're in pre-school ...
I was gonna make that comment, but I didn't.
ok, I know breast feeding is natural, but the problem is, today's society teaches kids that boobs and kitty cats are sexual things, at a pretty young age. NO matter what you do, your kid is gonna know soon enough that boobs are for sex, I believe. And too, I can't get the image of a little girl holding a baby's mouth to her nipple out of my head.
Anything can be sexual; depends on the person. What are we going to do next, teach our children that they can't touch/look at legs because they're sexual? Or feet, arms, backs... Come to think of it, hands and lips are just as sexual as breasts; are we going to do away with toys that require these?
I read somewhere that simple, honest need-to-know answers were best for young children. If my son asked me upon seeing a woman nursing her baby, "Mommy? What is she doing?" I would simply say, "Feeding her baby." There's no reason to get all technical and wordy with them. If they ask more questions like, "What is she feeding her baby?" You say, "Milk. You had milk too when you were a baby." This would go for both boys and girls, just simple straight answers that give them age-appropriate information without overwhelming them. I think dolls can be a great tool in aiding and teaching young children about babies and caring for infants, but that's all they are: a tool. They're not meant to be looked at in a sexual way or a negative way. I'm sure the original manufacturers of this particular doll were just trying to find a way to help young children learn about the breastfeeding process. I see nothing wrong or dirty about that.
I see nothing wrong with extended nursing. It's not like the child is primarily nursing. Most likely they'd nurse at night or a few times a day. I know a mother from an attachmednt parenting group I've gone to that nurses her three year old and this child is very independent. She only nurses before bed or in the morning. It's a source of comfort and bonding with mommy. Some mothers can't bf and what matters is is the baby is getting fed and is growing, but it is worth giving a try.
I would buy this doll for my daughter. It's ok for little girls to play with Barbie's? Talk about an unrealistic example for a little girl. JMO
I'm lost. How did extended nursing get thrown in here with the breastfeeding baby doll? Hmmmm...
Not sure. Sorry for the off topic twist
One does not have to bottle feed if they do not want to. I for one will not want to.
Kettleya, I understand your point of view that you’d not want your child to bond with someone else too closely, however, it does not bother me. I think of it in a since that is a means for my child to receive good and natural nutrition that is not artificial, even if someone else gives it to her. I do not care personally if she bonds with my friends. I feel that it will enable her to become more well rounded and not feel like she cannot do anything without clinging to me. Each will do what is comfortable. I’m not going to put down or judge what another does, though, I’m happy to explain my reasons for what I believe in and do. I respect your position on matters.
I also do not go by strictly what medicine says, though, I will soon be going to school to be a doctor myself, as sometimes, they give advice based on bias. Check out www.naturalchild.org This site shows with well researched information and resources how the medical community can sometimes be obscured to favor drugs or other things, such as what is acceptable to culture and not always in the best interest of patients. It’s not always about what is right for the person. I have personal experience with that. I hope that becoming a doctor will allow me to change some things and pave the way for more healthier and natural living. And yes, if you do it right, you can arrange for a friend to breastfeed for you, as there are many people having babies left and right. And, you can purchase or get donated breast milk. I want to avoid artificial means of feeding my children. I’m not going to down anyone who decides to go that route, as people have a right to do what they feel is best, but this is what I feel is best. And www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html is a wonderful site if you want to learn more about extended breastfeeding. This page talks about the many benefits. Research shows that children that are breastfed for extended periods are much more healthier than their counterparts who are not breastfed past the age of one.
Mistress_Naiara, the child who is being breastfed past the age of one will not have a complex. Because people do not understand the concept, they judge. I understand your concern, as it is a foreign concept to you and probably one that is hard to understand, and I do not fault you for that; but I want to reassure you that the child will not be a sociopath or cling. It is actually very natural. And because children become independent between two and four—more the latter—they will wean themselves. I’m more a child-centered person who does not believe in making too much decisions for children. I let them lead the way and do things when they feel comfortable and ready. It is called Consensual Living. If you Google Child Led Weaning and consensual living, you will find out a lot of neat information. Happy reading. Thanks so much for asking questions and wanting to learn more. That is awesome that you want to learn more and understand. I commend you.
And to ones who wanted to know why I threw extended breastfeeding into the mix, well, I’m just proving how closed minded society is and was giving some examples. That was one of them. It was indeed in line with the doll. Just as many find the doll to be gross, as many judge what they do not understand, so do many think the same about extended breastfeeding. See the corolation?
I actually went and looked up attached parenting and realized that my husband and I actually have some (if not many of) the leanings of the more concervitive attached parenting parents. I was surprised because of misconceptions I'd received before, and this is the very reason I try to do research before judging or taking sides in a topic. I do not believe in extended breast feeding; however some of my reasons for that are personal, but I think to each his/her own. I've had to adopt that attitude with the sister-in-law I have...However, back on the original topic. I asked before what we're going to ban next on the theory that adults see that as sexual, and I still would like to know where we're going to draw the line. But, I have a new concept to throw into the mix. This is a point my husband; (who is sighted) brought up. Unless we indicate to our children that something is wrong they never see it as such. Children see their parents nude every day, and this has no adverse effects on the child/children. Children see breast feeding, and all they want to know is why. If a child has a younger sibling who nurses they only see it as a source of food for bubby/sissy, (not that mommy is sexually molesting bubby/sissy), so, why should we put sexual conutations on a doll that is just like any other doll accept that it receives nurturing in another more natural way? Children see things as we instruct them too...I've got an example for you. I know a couple who didn't have a 2nd child until the first was already 6. The 6 year old walked in on his mother nursing the baby, and both parents panicked until the dad's mom instructed him on explaining it to the boy, and after the explanation nothing was ever said again. That 6 year old did not see it as sexual; he was simply confused as to what was going on. But he was told that she was feeding the baby, that's what God gave mommies to feed babies, and he let it go at that. Now, I don't persay believe in God, but that should show all that children will react as we instruct them to react through our own attitudes, and that if we handle it appropriately it doesn't need to be twisted into anything sinister or disgusting! I Hope all of this made since...If not ask and I'll explain better. :)
You did make sense, and i one hundred percent agree with your take on the subject. Children only feel that things are bad because parents drill it into their heads as such. I appreciate your well thought-out response.